Eli's Secret
by ZigZagKlaine
Summary: Eli hides a dark secret that is eating him alive. After he starts a new life and falls in love with Clare Edwards, things got a little better until his past catched up with him. Would he be able to tell her ? Would things ever be the same?
1. The box

Eli's Secret.

Disclaimer : I don't own degrassi. All I own is my iPod and my blackberry !

Authors note : YOU ARE READING THIS Hello ! My names Keiry ;D well this is the first fan fiction I posted online and I'm super scared ! It kind of sucks right now but I promise it will get better 3 sorry for the horrid grammar :3 And reviews are pretty cool 3 oh lastly it is PG13 for now :P 3 Bye happy reading :)

Chapter one : The box.

What if I told you that I was a monster? What if I told you that I'm not like everyone else? What if I told you that I've done many bad things ? What if I told you that I'm broken? What if I told you that I had a deep dark secret that nobody knew ? Would you let me in ? Would you fix me ? Would you love me unconditionally ? Would you forget about my past, and start a new beginning with me ?

I really didn't think that after all those questions someone would really start a new beginning with me. Every time I actually fell for a girl and it came to that time that I had to tell her my secret, they just banished. Like it was as if every girl I fell in love with just disappeared into the great beyond. I thought there wasn't any chance for me to find someone who loved me back, someone who helped me with my problems and someone who was there for me when I needed them. That's what I thought everyday, until I met her. That beautiful

blue eyed goddess. That girl was Clare Dianne Edwards.

"I'll fix you, I would love you until I die, and I don't care about what happened in your past, what matters now is that we're together and that's it"

But you don't understand Clare, I'm not who you think I am ! I'm crazy! I'm a freak! We can't ever live happy together and it's all my fault.

"Eli what are you talking about ? I think you need some sleep it's 2 in the morning. Call me tomorrow and get some sleep alright ?"

Okay Clare bye call me tomorrow.

"Bye"

I laid back down on my bed wrapped up in my warm blanket and I observed my room. I noticed how my silver skull necklace hung up on my mirror makes a beautiful light on my ceiling. I looked at my closet and I saw my clothes all messed up, shoes all over, but then I saw that box. That box carried all my secrets and all the memories Ameei and I shared. I leaped out of bed and ran to my closet, I reached up for the old shoe box covered in dust and I opened it. As soon as I opened it I felt a rush of emotions flow through me. I didn't know what to feel. I felt angry but sad but then a little part of me felt happy. Happy that she's

gone. Happy that i know longer have to suffer with all the hurt she costed me. She deserved what happened to her. It was a prayer to father time.

I saw all the pictures we took together and the letters she wrote me. And then i saw it. The white envelope that held my secret. I opened it and skimmed through it, I smirked remembering what happened on that day. March 13 2009. The day Ameei died.

**January 8 2009 (**flashback**)**

_I was sleeping peacefully until I heard someone repeatedly knock on my door. "WHAT !" I screamed. I heard nothing for a couple of seconds so I shut my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. A minute later I hear CeCe scream, "Eli darling can you run to the store and get me some milk" _

_"Mom it is 8 in the morning. Why the hell do you want milk?" "Eli we ran out of milk, and we need some milk! Stop being a baby and go and get some" "Mother it is freezing outside and I'm too tired" _

_"Eli go now !"_

_Uh. She won this time. I got out of bead and slipped on my black boots grabbed my leather jacket and headed out. I started up morty but there was too much snow outside. I couldn't get him out._

_"Great now I have to walk there" I screamed loud enough so CeCe could hear. I failed so I just started to walk to the store. It was a good 4 blocks away so I decided to listen to music to past some time. I took out my iPod and played some Dance Gavin Dance. I actually got there pretty quick. I Got in the store and walked through aisle 3, refrigerator section. I grabbed some 2 percent milk and headed to the cash register. "2.50" the lady said. I took out my wallet _

_and handed her five dollars. She gave me my change and my the white plastic bag. I walked out of the grocery store. I figured I should take the short cut through the park since it was too cold to walk another 4 blocks back home. I headed my way to Evergreen park and walked through the sparkling white snow._

_I heard two people talking and moving around. One of the voices _

_sounded really familiar. I tried to see who the two people were but I couldn't really make them out. I quietly walked closer to them I only saw the guy who was touching that girl a little too much. These damn kids are always messing around in public. The girl turned around and then I saw her. I fell back from the horror. Thank god _

_they didn't notice. I can't believe what I'm seeing. My girlfriend is making out with some guy. I didn't know what to do. I just decided to get out of the park. I ran home and I almost slipped from the ice on the floor. I got home and gave my mother the milk. I didn't even bother staying down there. I ran up to my room and locked the door. I started crying and throwing things around. I guess my mom _

_heard all the noise so she came upstairs. "Eli baby are you okay?" "leave me alone mom" I screamed. I heard her footsteps slowly fade away._

_I was confused should I call her and tell her that I know she's cheating on me. Or should I just forget about it. I was confused. I decided to take a hot shower to take my mind off of things. I took off my clothes and stepped into my bathroom. I turned the knob and felt the steaming hot water burn my hands. I stepped in the tub and let _

_the water run down my head. It felt good. Just then I thought of something. Ameei didn't deserve to live. NO ! She was cruel. She hurt me and for that she shouldn't deserve to live. I smiled knowing exactly what I had to do. I tuned off the water and stepped out of the tub. I grabbed my black towel and headed to my room. I grabbed some boxers and a shirt and sat in my bed. I grabbed my notebook _

_and started writing. I wrote down the plan. It was perfect. Ameei was going to die and nobody would blame me for it. Perfect._

**Present time **

I got back in my bed and shut my eyes. I need to stop thinking about this. I need to forget about Ameei Elizabeth. She's no longer in my life. She is dead.

...

SOOOOOOOO ? did you guys like it :p yeah i know it sucks lmao ! reviews are cool :]


	2. Evergreen Tears

Chapter 2: Evergreen Tears

Eli's POV

A/N : hello =] this is a lame chapter. it was better but i deleted it and i had to start all over again ! Don't forget to review and tell all your friends ! Happy readings - Keiry 3

It has been a week since I've been having all those memories. Its as if everything reminds me of the dreaded Ameei. I can't even go to that park anymore. I feel like I'm an animal in a cage, and I can't get out. I'm trapped. My past is consuming every part of me. I don't blame myself completely for what I feel now, for it was her fault. But now I feel lost. And with all those memories coming back, it's even worse.

Clare and I haven't spoken to each other in a week. She thinks I'm avoiding her. I'm not going to lie, I am avoiding her. I don't want Clare to think I'm a freak. I haven't even told her about Ameei yet, and I don't plan on telling her just yet. I feel like if I tell her she'll leave me and run off with some jerk.

And we don't want that to happen.

_**Ring ring **_

Hello ...

"Eli what is up with you ? You've been avoiding me for a week. What am I not important to you anymore. You act as of I'm a random girl at school."

Clare I'm sorry I've just been under the weather these past few days.

"When I'm under the weather I still call you..."

I'm sorry blue eyes I shouldn't of ignored you.

"Uh Eli. You're lucky I love you."

Hahaha

"Don't laugh ! Jerk!"

Haha sorry ! Is that you're so cute

"Okay. So do you want to hang out later"

Um yeah sure

"Pick me up in 30 minutes"

Okay bye

"Bye"

I had less than 30 minutes to pick my life up again. It was impossible. I'll just put a fake smile on say some witty comments and go along with it. Huh. I hate living in this lie. I took a quick shower and changed. I wore my washed out skinny jeans, dead hand t-shirt and my black jacket. I looked in the mirror one last time before I headed out and all I saw was fear. Why was I so afraid. This happened a year ago. I think part of me was more afraid of losing Clare than anything. I love Clare, even more than I loved Ameei.

I headed out and got into Morty. I love this car. I tell him all my secrets. Some my think it's stupid because Morty is a car, but I feel as if he listens to me. I headed my way to Clare's house and turned on the radio.

_I don't know about you but I swear on my name they can smell it on me. _

_I've never been to good with secrets. No_

I turned the radio off. I arrived at Clare's house and she was already outside looking as beautiful as ever. I hoped out of Morty and walked to her. We were standing there looking lifeless and in complete silence for a few moments until she hugged me. I hugged her back and I didn't want to let go. She smelled of strawberries and perfume. She was so sweet and soft. I was one lucky guy to have her in my arms and know that she's mine and mine only. I didn't care that her mom was staring at me viciously from her bedroom window or that her dad was peeking through the little window in the door, I would hold on to her until forever. It felt good having her in my arms and I just wanted to stay there and smell her strawberry sent but we really had to go. I walked her to the car and opened the door for her. I walked around and got in. Where do you want to go, I asked her. "let's go to the Dot, I'm really hungry." I smiled, and drove to the Dot.

We arrived in no time. I opened the front door for her and we sat at our usual benches. She scrolled down the menu but she already knew what she wanted. Clare always ordered the same thing. Peter walked over to us and asked what we wanted. "I'll have a Cheeseburger with a Chocolate Milkshake please." I laughed. "And what about you Eli ?" I'll have cheese fries and a coke. Peter left to his counter. I grabbed Clare's hand and intertwined our fingers together. She smiled. She looked at me with so much love and compassion. I leaned over and kissed her chastely. Her lips were so soft. "I adore you Elijah Goldsworthy, and I promise you forever" She said. I took her warm hand and held it to my heart. Clare I love you so much and you are my forever. I was about to kiss her again until Peter came and interrupted us. He gave us our food and walked away. "Oh this looks so yummy !" Does it get better every time you eat it Clare ? I smirked at her. "Haha very funny, I just love cheese burgers !" I took a sip of my Coke. Mhm that's the good stuff I said. "No darling milkshake's are the good stuff ! Get it right" I flicked my tongue at her. We finished eating our food and I payed the bill. We walked out of the Dot, holding hands.

**Clare's POV **

"So what would you like to do next" Eli asked me. I want to take a walk in Evergreen Park. As soon as I finished that sentence he let go of my hand. He looked away. He had a sad look in his eyes. Eli if you don't want to go to the park we don't have to. "uh no its okay", he said hesitantly. I didn't think anything of it so I just took his hand and intertwined my fingers with him and walked to the park. Eli was silent the whole walk there. I wonder why he didn't want to go to the park. We walked to the swings and I sat on the red swing while Eli pushed me from the back. Weeee I yelled. "Having fun Clare" Lots I said. In my head I was thinking if I should ask him what's wrong. He's acting weird now. I figured I should go for it, the worst that could happen is him not telling me. Eli what's wrong, and don't tell me nothing because I know something is bothering you. "It's not worth talking about Clare, it's not important. Just forget about it." I got up from the swing and stood right in front of him. I was beginning to get frustrated. Eli how the hell do you want me to forget about it, if you look so sad. You're acting weird around me and I know you're hiding something. "Clare..." Uh whatever Eli. I started to walk away but soon enough Eli walked over to me and hugged me by my waist. I turned around and hugged him back. Tears stared forming in my eyes. I hated when we had arguments. Eli kissed my tears away and took my hand. He began taking me to the benches. We sat down in silent for a few moments until Eli began to speak. "It was here." I looked at him with a confused look and I began to say something but he cut me off. "I was walking back home from the grocery store and I decided to take the short cut." I was confused, about what he was talking about. "Ameei, she cheated on me, I caught her going at it with some random guy"

Eli had another girlfriend. For some reason I was jealous. I was jealous that he still thinks of her. I was also mad. Why didn't he tell me this. I looked at Eli, he had tears running down his face. I went over to him and hugged him. He hugged me back. Eli I'm so sorry, she didn't deserve you. "Clare Ameei's dead" I was stunned. No wonder he was all sad. Is he still not over her death. A million thoughts came to my head, along with a billion questions. Eli I am so sorry. "no its okay Clare, it's not your fault" When did she pass away ? "A year ago. She died from a tragic accident." Oh.I didn't know what to say to him I was as lost as he was. "Clare don't ever cheat on me please, I don't want to lose you too" Eli you're stuck with me. He smiled and kissed my cheek. I felt better now that he told me his secret. Now there's nothing else he's hiding. Now everything is going to be alright. Right?

...

Happy holidays3 sorry this is the worst present ever ! And I was supposed to upload it yesterday but I deleted the whole chapter D: but whatever ! Reviews are sexy 3 oh and follow me on twitter if you must ! (keiryx3) Next chapter is a little bit lemony ;D


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